Sexual harassment in writing

Alright, I've seen a decent amount of YA authors get slammed with this subject in the past years. It's a touchy subject, definitely. So touchy, in fact, I'm a bit uneasy about even covering the topic right now. But reviewers seem to be a bit out of touch with the reality of it and I was actually questioned about it in my own writing.

Readers and reviewers seem to think sexual harassment and molestation (God forbid I say the R word) are extremely traumatic events that leave the victim restless, rocking back and forth in a corner, drenched in their own tears and self-loathing. This just isn't the truth. The events can definitely be traumatic, but not so much that the victim can't function properly, can't go a moment without thinking about the events they went through.

As I said, this is a touchy subject, for many sensible reasons. Touchy for myself, a victim of the crime. Touchy to readers and the public in general, seen to be bad juju or something. I think it needs to be discussed though. There is a major misconception in writing about what it does to a person's mind. So many YA authors have been given bad reviews because they didn't write their MCs to be royally screwed up after being molested once, twice, however many times.

Here's the truth though. I know people that were molested every day of their life for years. I know people who trusted someone who wound up taking innocence from them against their will. They didn't break. They didn't sit awake at night trying to figure out what they did to deserve what happened to them. They went about their life silently, only remembering when they saw the face of their molester or, maybe in a worse case, when another person laid a hand on them. It doesn't leave the victims broken. It leaves them weary, yes. It may cause anxiety, depression, haphephobia (fear of being touched by others, usually of the opposite gender depending on what caused the phobia). We don't lose ourselves to despair though. We don't fall apart, unable to go about our days like a normal human being.

I know, it's all meant to be constructive, but as a victim of these things, It becomes a bit exasperating being told I need to reevaluate my characters mental state because their behavior isn't realistic enough for a victim. These are the truths of it as I see it. Maybe you don't agree and that's fine. This is just how I see it in myself and how I see it in others I know.

Honestly, all I hope for is that reviewers and editors will let it go when someone's MC isn't torn to pieces in these events.

I apologize for the topic. Like I said, I'm well aware of how touchy it is. I just needed this to be said.